My friend and dearest lover has gone. Thunder claps and French military jets acknowledged his passing. Being at home and with his family was his dearest wish tho' never expressed despite being a man of wonderful words and perspectives.
Au revoir mon cheri
Jenny x
Au revoir mon cheri
Jenny x
My dearest Derelict,
ReplyDeleteI hardly have words to express how much I love you and will miss you for the rest of my days. So it seems fitting and is in true DW tradition that I turn to a quote which I found in a book by your bed where I sleep...
Like the cover of an old book,
Its contents torn out,
And stripped of its lettering and gilding,
Lies here, food for worms.
But the work itself shall not be lost;
For it will, as he believed, appear once more
In a new and more elegant edition,
Corrected and amended
By its author.
ps: Please make sure they change the key code to heaven to 2509 when you get there, so I can get in!
Forever in my heart
Yours
Katie x
We knew you for only a fleeting moment in your life but will always remember your wit and sharp comments which peppered your conversation, especially as we struggled to learn French grammar. A big man indeed, and remembered with love. Jane and David Morris
ReplyDeleteDerek, I hope there is plenty of G&T and peanuts wherever you are. I'll miss you every day, I love you. Sophie xx
ReplyDeleteOne of the nicest people I have ever met. So interesting, so amusing and so quick to see the good in things. You will be sadly missed Derek.
ReplyDeleteHave a good journey Derek,
ReplyDeletewe'll soon be together again,
a candle for you today.
yours truly, marion & patrice the pool workers
Although we only met Derek briefly on Skype, we were looking forward to getting to know him on Emma's ( our daughter ) & Tim's wedding day.
ReplyDeleteBe assured we will hold him in our hearts to be present with us on that special day ...
Sincerely,
Yvonne & Pascal ( Emma's mum & step-dad )
We will remember him riding the tractor through the woods on the new path which he was so pleased with.
ReplyDeleteA real gentleman, one to be remembered.
Roger & Gwyneth
I met Derek on three very happy occasions, the last being at Oliver and Sylvia's winter wedding in Austria, where Derek drove guests from an icy Munich to the snowy Tyrol, and back, which took many hours. He undertook the ordeal with patience, good humour and skilful driving!
ReplyDeleteLes, whilst working near Ducklington enjoyed meals with Derek and Jenny at their lovely home and glorious garden and looked forward to a pint or two with them both at their local, The Bell.
Derek was a special man who will be sadly missed by dear Jenny and children, and also by all who had the pleasure of spending enjoyable times in his company.
Carol and Les Goddard and family xxx
Thank you for welcoming me into your family with such warmth and open arms. I cannot think of a lovelier person to call my father-in-law. Your wit and humour made every conversation a joy. I have learnt so many things from you (not only about your family and your life but also about your perspectives and ideas) in our hours spent around the dinner table on summer nights. Not to mention your appreciation of cake! Needless to say, you were a man full of life and love, something which I know you have passed on to Tim and the rest of your family. You will be sorely missed on our wedding day, but I know you will be there in all of our hearts.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Emma x
It has been one of the pleasures of our life to have known Derek. He was funny, witty and so laid back, especially when he wandered off the subject and sort of noodled around for a few moments before realising what he was doing. And always a charming and engaging host whenever we went to the house.
ReplyDeleteNot long after he was taken ill we arranged for a gang of his friends to turn up at the house where we cut, sorted, stacked and generally ensured that their recently delivered wood wasn't a problem for Jenny or him when he left hospital. The expression on his face when he thanked me for helping organise it was somthing I shall treasure for a very long time.
Our sincerest condolences to Jenny and the family, Derek will be greatly missed.
Tony and Jenny
Deeply sorry to hear Tim's father death. Although we never met him, we had the pleasure to talk to him via skype on Christmas day a couple of years ago. We were looking forward to seeing him this july.
ReplyDeleteOur condolences to Tim's family.
Christian and Sandrine CHAMPION
Derek and I first met when we sat next to each other on our first day at school at Vaughan Road, Wallasey in 1944. We've always kept in touch. He kindly ofered to be my Best Man at my wedding to Judith in July 1962 and celebrated our silver wedding with us in 1987. Unfortunately, he wasn't well enough to join us for our golden celebrations last year but he was very much in our thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHe was an erudite, gentle and charming man who will be greatly missed.
Ian McCollam
We will remember our good friend Derek, for his irrepressible humour, his wit, endearing smile and his wonderful way with thoughts and words.
ReplyDeleteSo many memories of fun times – parties at Willow Barn, in particular Desert Island Discs; a dark bonfire night by the River Windrush; a New Year’s Day walk at Aston Rowant; (sur)prize vegetable exhibits at the Ducklington Show!; poetry slams at Oxford and Cheltenham; theatre visits – History Boys at the National; a Christmas carol concert at the Royal Albert Hall; a visit to Tyntesfield, a newly opened National Trust house near Bristol noted for its guano connection; publishing books on Lulu; a Jaques Tati evening at our house, the Old School; innumerable cups of tea and coffee and dinner parties at Willow Barn and the Old School; visits to Les Rivières and a 70th birthday party; mushroom identification at the pharmacie before breakfast; feeding Morris, the cat, latterly Maurice and many other memorable occasions.
We will miss his voce, his warmth, his laughter and his consummate friendship. For us he has a left an irreplaceable void. We will remember him with great affection; a truly exceptional friend.
Rosemarie and Graham
Derek
ReplyDeleteI came to the French class half way through the second term so missed a great deal but, sitting next to you in the lessons was a privilege as I struggled through the French grammar miles behind everyone else. You were there though, offering encouragement in your humourous asides. I felt great kinsman ship with your laid back witty comments. You were a friend to all and had the ability to make everyone you were with feel important and treasured. I am stuck here in England working and cannot be with your friends and family on Friday.
It is so terribly sad to say goodbye. Words cannot convey how deeply we feel or how much you will be missed.
God bless you and your family.
Chrissie
Derek West of 39 St James's Avenue. Even now when I walk past it is still your house full of memories of a happy childhood. Having my picture taken on the stairs at a fancy dress party, fireworks in the back garden, you tending to my bruises when I actually stood on the end of a rake! Mine and Soph's musical performances that you always sat through patiently with a chuckle on your lips. The horror I felt when I broke one of your ornamental eggs! You have helped shape my life, and your voice, laugh and eyes will always be in mind. I love you, love your little egg yolk number two, Jo xx
ReplyDeleteMost of my memories of Derek involve food - parties at our house in Brighton, meals at our house in the Languedoc, visits to St James's Ave, Ducklington and Les Rivieres. I was privileged to spend a few days with Jenny and Derek at Les Rivieres at the end of February. Although clearly very ill, Derek joined in much of what we did, even rooting for England in their Six Nations match against France - which England won! He hadn't lost his way with words either - always a man to have an opinion. But I thank him most for the sparkle he returned to the eyes of my dear friend, Jenny.
ReplyDeleteI first met Derek on 1 July 1969 when I started my first teaching job at Kingston College of Further Education.He was a warm and generous colleague who over the next 4 years was always explaining new approaches he had developed and was always keen to share with the rest of us - a great innovator.One of my most privileged memories was when he asked me to be part of a "plot" to enable him to meet Kip outside of work. I have never been part of such a successful "plot".
ReplyDeleteDerek and I shared a great friendship over a meal or a drink for 15 years after I left teaching and we always enjoyed the post-Xmas parties with the family.We reconnected last year when Derek and Jenny came to have lunch with Jean and me. We have some delightful photos of that time to treasure.
Derek - you were a great friend and we shared much fun and serious talk over those years - an enormous privilege which I loved.
Adrian and Jean xx
We first met when Kip and Heather attended WEA classes in Hampton and Simon and Claire were in the creche together. There followed many parties and get togethers in Chestnut Avenue and St James Avenue.
ReplyDeleteDerek enjoyed the visit with the family to our house in Athens,especially the chauffeur driven trip to Delphi...who wouldn't?
We were very grateful to stay at St James Avenue on home leave trips...and watch the West family drive off to France on their holidays with 2 roof racks on top of the car...never seen that before or since!
Love to all the family, Heather and Alan xxx
We first met Derek and Jenny in late 2007 when we moved to Cendrieux. Early French lessons proved hilarious as we struggled to remember long-lost grammar but Derek always entertained us with his ready wit and banter. We quickly became friends and enjoyed many film evenings (followed by excellent dinners!) and film appreciation afternoons when Derek demonstrated a wide knowledge of literature and film. We particularly remember early 2009 when power cuts and freezing weather tested our decision to relocate to the Dordogne for mild winters! Derek and Jenny were always cheerful even when the claret was icy or we warmed soup by candle on a wood stove!
ReplyDeleteLong, hot summers did follow and our two younger daughters Helen and Kate both remember enjoying stimulating discussions with Derek on many subjects.
When we returned briefly in May 2011, to sell our house, Derek and Jenny welcomed us into their home. The evenings spent with excellent wine and food round the pool and a fine dinner at Les Couleurs linger in the memory, but this proved to be the last time that we saw Derek- although we continued to exchange emails with Derek always up-beat and selfless.
We will miss Derek, but the memories will remain. It was a pleasure and a privilege to be his friend.
Love to Jenny and family from, Tom and Di
You may have raised an eyebrow when the music played for your final curtain call. Somehow, you were propelled on your journey by the triumphant strains of the last movement of Cesar Frank's D minor Symphonie, rather than the subdued and reflective oeuvre by Gabriel Faure that was intended. On consideration, this chance happening better suited your ebullient and vibrant personality and you would have been amused by the hand wringing that was taking place in some sections of the congregation !! Farewell our friend, it was a pleasure and privilege to have known you. Geoff and Catherine
ReplyDeleteWe knew Derek too short a while but every time we met him he was warm and welcoming and amusing. We visited the wonderful barn conversion he and Jenny made in Ducklington and later spent a very enjoyable time with them in France. Fond memories of that time were chatting and laughing and drinking wine in the garden late into the night while swatting mosquitos and singing, or trying to sing, "On the Road to Mandalay".... but only knew a smattering of the lyrics.''flying fishes" "blooming heathen idols" "whacking great cheroots" and the like .
ReplyDeleteThe Book Club lunches when Derek and Jenny were in the UK were always memorable and happy occasions. It was good having known you Derek. God bless and R.I.P Lynda and Ken
.
I have known Derek nearly all my life and have many happy memories of him from my childhood days in St James’s Avenue: The West family holiday I went on to Corfu, when Claire and I were thirteen, Derek was a wonderful host to me, single handedly, and cheerfully leading the four of us kids around to beaches and restaurants for the week, entertaining us wonderfully. The tolerant smile at yet another ring on the doorbell, for yet another major teenage drama needing urgent discussion. He was also the first person I thought of when I got mugged while at university in Liverpool – annoyingly, just as he had predicted!
ReplyDeleteIn more recent years I was so touched when he came to my husband Matt’s funeral – what wonderful support for his children’s friend. I realised later that, of course, he identified with what had happened to me – he had been there. And as I have had my struggles with widowhood and single parenthood, I have thought of him often, with utmost admiration. What he went through, and what an amazing job he did, on his own, through his grief, for those years. Bringing up children who would become three of the most thoughtful, kind, independent and wise people I know. I am so sad they have lost him now.
That he found such happiness for so many years with Jenny, and that family life was then shared with all five children, was a thoroughly deserved happy ending for him.
My heart goes out to Jenny, Claire, Tim, Sophie and to Katie and Morgan.
I am so sorry he is gone.
Smiles, chuckles, wisdom and kind words. How lovely to be remembered thus and how apt. We had many happy times at Don Atherton's garden parties - so long ago now. My thoughts are with all of you.
ReplyDeleteJenny (Wren Cottage)
Having been friends with Claire since we were seven I have known Derek most of my life. During my teenage years I spent so much time in St James' Avenue that he probably saw more of me than my own parents did!
ReplyDeleteOne of my most enduring memories of Derek is how whenever I rang the house to speak to Claire, which was probably every day being teenage girls in the 80s with no mobile phones, without fail he would always go off to fetch her singing 'Who's Sari Now' to the tune of the old song (I believe it's by Connie Francis).
Derek was a lovely, kind, witty man who I am very happy to have had the pleasure of knowing. My thoughts are with Jenny and all his family who loved him so very dearly.
I only had the pleasure of meeting Derek on two occasions over the past few years and both times I was immediately struck by his gentle nature. He certainly seemed to me to be an absolute gentleman and just a lovely, lovely man. I am sorry I dont have any stories about him just an understanding of the terrible sense of loss you are feeling right now.
ReplyDeleteOur lives have been entwined with the Wests for so long through childhood friendships. teenage angst, young love, marriage and most recently our lovely grandson, Duncan. We couldn't have wished to have such a close connection with a nicer family. They are a great credit to Derek, his wit, his gentleness and his quiet charm.
ReplyDeleteWe are pleased that he had so many happy years with Jenny and so sad that it could not have been longer.
Lib & John
Allan and I only met Derek once in his and Jenny's beautiful garden
ReplyDeleteand new instantly he was a man of rare quality.
Our sincere condolences go to Jenny and her family.
Here is something I found that I think is very beautiful.
Look to this day for it is life
The very life of life
In its brief course lies all the joy of growth
The splendour of action, the glory of power
For yesterday is but a memory
But today, well lived
Makes every yesterday
A memory of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well, therefore, to this day.
Marie and Allan (acip)
All our memories of Derek are happy ones, even when battling to keep the dreaded 'sangliers' from wrecking the garden. Remembering his dry wit and ready humour will continue to bring a smile.
ReplyDeleteJill & Robert
I've known Derek a long time - since we moved in next door to him when I was aged four. Nearly all of my childhood was spent running between our house at number 37 St James Avenue and The Wests at number 39.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a childhood it was! Many, many happy days playing with Clare, Tim and Soph. Amongst other things we used to: dig holes to Australia at the "Far End", hook up Sindy & Ken in amorous embraces, cycle/run & skate up and down the Avenue for hours on end, scream and shout to our hearts' content in the garden (much to the annoyance of some other neighbours!), have TCP mouthwashes after eating rabbit food, play dice/Marsbar games, build dens in the churchyard, long bike rides in Bushy Park, summer evenings in pub gardens, play Sardines....I could go on....
Derek was a wonderful man and clearly a superb father. He used to put up with us all running around, creating mayhem and havoc. Out of the sadness of recent days, one of the wonderful things has been getting back in touch with his three kids and to reminisce on our childhood.
I have many fond memories of Derek from being a child but also in recent years: when he and Jenny came on holidays to France with my parents, enjoying glasses of wine on summers' evenings and his kindness and warmth when I saw him last at Mike & Margaret's wedding anniversary last year.
Through Derek's relationship with Jenny, I've built up a long-term friendship with Katie and have enjoyed meeting Morgan too. I know how much Derek meant to his step-children and that is testament to his loving nature.
Jenny was a wonderful wife to Derek and she has coped so well nursing him over recent months. Jenny made Derek the happiest I had ever seen him and I'm so glad that they got to spend 20 happy years together.
The Wests/Jones clan mean a lot to the Kirkhams. It won't be the same without you Derek but, as Sophie said, I hope that you have a G&T and a packet of salted peanuts in your hands and are looking down with that cheeky smile. Thank you for all the wonderful memories, Katie K xxxx
You once said that mum wound us all three up like little toys ready to face the world and what a good job she did. I now realise that it was you who did most of that winding. "There's no such thing as a perfect person, only nature is perfect" - another paraphrased Derek comment from the recesses of my mind. Some people though do come pretty close. You loved in such a deep way and taught me everything that's really important and that most things really aren't worth worrying about. You're gone now, but the conversation doesn't need to end, I will carry you with me everywhere I go, Love Tim xx
ReplyDeleteThe last time i spoke to Derek we talked about how i experienced the energy in the Sumatra jungle,...he wanted me to explain what i sensed there in the jungle. So i told him, the not knowing seemed to attract him, he was eager to learn.
ReplyDeleteWe believe Derek is in a better place,
now although we realize that he will be deeply missed,....